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| thanks again for all the comments(: favorites? song recs? and now I'm sitting with my head on the dashboard, I push the seat back and close my eyes. I had this dream that I was on an airplane, afraid to fly. so tipped my head to the side, and I whispered to this man that was in the aisle. I said, "do you know how long it takes before we die?" when you feel lost out at sea, surrounded by on equal sides the same routine, becoming what you swore you’d never be. don’t distress, there’s a big bright place if you stay close to me. take a breath, and I’ll show you what matters. days like masquerades, silent, hiding in the shadows, stripped of their disguise, leave you haunted as you scatter. but you're always on my mind. a kiss is not just a kiss, it's something that’s so much more. when it ignites every passion inside you and makes you weak at the knees, when you’re left sweating because you're hot but the air conditioner is on, when your pressure rises and you're perfectly healthy, when your mind that was racing is now blank, when the world stops and all you hear are two hearts beating, then you’ve been kissed with a kiss that’s truly a kiss. 
we've finally found our own world, this is our night.
we don't have to worry about whether it's wrong or right. because for once, this is our night. in a few hours reality will creep back into our lives and attempt to suffocate what air we have left to breathe, but before that happens, i'm telling you now, this is our night. when the sun finally appears through the cracks of the curtains, just close your eyes, this is our night. and when a week has passed, and you're wishing you were back there, just remember, this is our night. 
forever alone until I found you, and now you’re always there; voice on the air, scent on my clothes. but when the sun exposes all my demons, will you stay or run away? 
will you take me back to the person I used to be?
when you were there for me. I know it seems like forever, but do me this favor please. way back when we were stupid, and held grudges just to help us sleep.
Oh my God, how ridiculous were we? my eyes are no good, blind without him
the way he moves I never doubt him
when he talks he some how creeps into my dreams
he's a catch, a winner
i'm in love and no beginner you're placing a big blind bet on the underdog, and though its a stretch, you believe that when you're against the odds, and on your feet, with you at your best, and promises kept, he'd rather stay here with you on the laziest afternoons.
most days of the year are unremarkable. they begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. most days have no impact on the course of a life. may 23rd was a Wednesday.
everything's gone missing
I've lost more songs to floods
I can't prove this makes any sense but, I sure hope that it does.
it's hard to accept, but you can't change the past. you can't go back and manipulate things to the way you wanted them to happen. because life would be meaningless and boring and just not worth living. but you can change the future and that's a beautiful thing about life. yes, you will make mistakes. and yes, you will have bad days - but as long as you let the past go, you'll have such a gorgeous and bright future ahead of you. knowing that things were meant to happen. knowing that each day you will learn something so that you keep growing to be a better person. life is like a rope, twined in all its complexities and yet weaved into one marvelous stream that you have the chance you use something amazing from. so grab hold of it.  we are male and female. we are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. we have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. we come from all walks of life and can be any age. we are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. our common link is this: we are in pain. we self-injure. and we are not freaks. come save me from walking off a windowsill, or I'll sleep in the rain.
don't you remember when I was a bird, and you were a map?
now he drags down miles in america, briefcase in hand.
the stove is creeping up his spine, again.
you know when you're singing along with this song, and you know all the words bcause you really love it. then a train passes and a door closes, and you can't hear the music anymore, but you keep singing anyway. then, when you can hear it again, you're still perfectly in time with it. well, that's what love is. 
i'm going to ask you a series of questions, and I want them answered on the spot, right now.
is it serious?
i'm afraid it is.
am I gonna die?
well son, death is gonna catch up to all one day, but yours is coming quicker than ours.      
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| thanks for all the comments guys, keep it up (:favorites? song recs? I heard about your regrets. I heard that you were feeling sorry. I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us. well, I guess I should have heard of that from you. 
when it seems like there's no one left to turn to, to run to in the empty world, you can come to me. I'll be your shooting star and you can tell me all your dreams. I can't promise to make them come true, but I'll be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart if your dreams happen to fall through. 
If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky. you can hide underneath me and come out at night, when I turn jet black and you show off your light. I live to let you shine. 
you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy far from here, with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by. 
they don't love me, I can tell. but you do, so they can go to hell. 
we've been down, we've been out, we've been hanging around. tip our glasses to no direction, and get me out of this one horse town. 
here's to the crazy ones. the misfits. the rebels. the troublemakers. the square pegs in round holes. the ones who see things differently. they aren't fond of rules, and they have no respect for status quota. you can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the one thing you can't do is ignore them. they change things. they push the human race forward and while some see crazy ones, we see genius. because the ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do. 
I love you. I love every little thing about you. your sexy smile, the sound of your voice, the magic in your eyes. I love your touch and the warmth I feel at your side. I love dreaming about you. I love discovering you and letting go with you. I love each and every once-in-a-lifetime moments I share with you- today, tomorrow, forever. 
everything you've said today, i've agreed with. it's been like listening to my own thoughts, so I can't let you leave. and if you're horribly embarrassed by this, then I don't care. because it's the only time I've felt I was being true to myself in my whole life. 
he takes my hand and we walk. out into the uncertain, out into the unknown. walking, and always walking in the direction of our dreams. I talk and he listens. talk about nothing. talk about everything. talk until the whole world makes sense again. and just like that, just by taking my hand, he’s always been able to make the whole world make sense again. 
the past: there is a line; you can draw it yourself, or sometimes it gets drawn for you; either way, there it is, your past, a collection of people you used to be and things you used to do. your past is the person you no longer are, the situations you are no longer in. 
when you were little, you thought that dandelions were flowers. it's not until you grew up that you looked at them as weeds. 
In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. when you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. and together we will try to hold back the floods to tears and despair and make it through the potholed street of life. 
you know that feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster for the first time? or you're going too high on a swing? or you hit some certain bumps on the road and your stomach kinda flips? that's the way I feel when I'm around you. not all the time, but there's those times when you look at me, or you'll hold me; and I can't even explain it-but that's what I feel.      
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| so sorry i've disappeared. I really don't have an excuse- I haven't even started studying for my finals yet ( I know, I know..) please don't hate me 0:) but seriously though I'm probably going to start studying this weekend so I'll be pretty much gone for a while. comments have been lacking a lot lately, only 3 on the last post? come on guys(: you watched me wait on the steps of your house. I stood outside, and you refused to come out. honestly, this is making me sick. 
people are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. people talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. love hurts. feelings are disturbing. people are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. how can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? pain is meant to wake us up. 
where were you when I could have loved you? where were you when I gave my heart away? all my life, I've been dreaming of you, but you came along one promise too late. 
"go to hell" is all I thought for seven weeks, but I grew out of that phase looking at these broken photographs of people, looking glossed just like the way I still remember a summer ago.
always put yourself in the other person's shoes. if you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.
i'm feeling like I might take today and make my way through the towns, the streets, the pouring rain. because sometimes it seems like the clouds won't stay away. 
by summer I'll have you on your knees,
come august and you'll lie right through your teeth.
it's oh so typical but it's what I need. 
I've got this pain in my head that I can't shake when I remind myself I can't get to you. 
she's got these brand new friends, I've got a few new songs. but mostly new headaches, and reasons not to call. I slept through all today and rearranged my head. I couldn't forget your face, or how we watched our breath. 
where can I go when I want you around, but I can't stand to be around you? 
I'm looking out at you obscured by the stand up arcade and the sound of the descendents.
your smile reminds me of switchblades and infidelity 
i'm young and i'm hopeless, I'm lost, and I know this. I'm going nowhere fast, that's what they say. I'm troublesome, I've fallen, I'm angry at the universe. it's me against this world and I don't care.
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| sorry I haven't been updating lately.. I dont have an excuse, I just havent been up to it or motivated. I probably wont be on here a lot since my finals are coming up and I'm gonna need to be studying 24/7. remember: every night our lives become black. but everyone has their morning when the light comes rushing back.  and all at once the crowd begins to sing. sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
love was a game that I'd always lose, then you changed the rules. now everything you do has got me feeling brand new. 
I tear my heart open and sew myself shut. my weakness? I care too much. our scars remind us that the past is real, I tear my heart open just to feel. 
if you've ever been depressed, then maybe you know where I'm coming from. it's like one minute you'te fine, and the next minute something happens that makes you think- really think- and then you're totally empty. the only thoughts that are in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally alone, like you don't mean anything to anyone. all you want to do is tell someone how you feel, but you don't want their pity, and even if you could tell someone, nothing would come out right. you don't want to laugh or smile, or whine, or argue, or even be stubborn or difficult, you just want to go to bed and cry and hope this feeling passes, and sometimes it does, but it always seems to come back. 
well, they encourage your complete cooperation,
send you roses when they think you need to smile.
I can't control myself because I don't know how,
and they love me for it. honestly, I'll be here for a while. 
I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff,
I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough.
I gave you blood, blood, blood,
I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love.
it rains and it pours
when you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch
can I sleep in my clothes?
'cause I've spent the night dancing,
i'm drunk, I suppose
and if it looks like I'm laughing
i'm really just asking to leave. 
give me a shot to remember
and you can take all the pain away from me
a kiss and I will surrender
the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
a light to burn all the empires
so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
in love with all of these vampires
so you can leave like the sane abandoned me 
don't you see that the charade is over, and all the best deceptions and the clever cover story awards go to you. so kiss me hard, 'cause this will be the last time that i'll let you. 
I'm reading your note over again. theres not a word that I comprehend, except when you signed it- "I will love you, always and forever." well, as for now, I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out. but as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out. 
i'm missing your laugh
how did it break?
and when did your eyes begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you 're pretending. 
you expect me to apologize for things that you've done wrong while you're inciting others. you're owning up to nothing. and I wish that I was gone, because you're not going anywhere. 
It's funny how the world changes sometimes. how the streets you've walked your entire life suddenly seem darker. how the silence isn't so quiet anymote. how eyes you've barely even noticed, now look at nothing but you. 
in the meadow where the black breeze blows, where underneath the waves, you were most alone. can you hear a subtle, aching tone?
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| thanks for the comments on my last post:) so i kind of want to change my name..I guess I used to like that song like two years ago when I started this site, but now I don't even like we the kings and I'm kind of kicking myself..oh well. comments?favorites? I just realized that we're all going to die. we don't know when. we don't know how. we don't know where. but we live as if none of that is true. 
Here's to the kids. The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of whiskey & Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party. Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them. Here's to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars. Here's to the kids who never were too good at life, but still were wicked cool. Here's to the kids who listened to Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV... and blame MTV for ruining their life. Here's to the kids who care more about the music then the haircuts. Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush. Here's to the kids who hum "A Little Less 16 Candles A Little More Touch Me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night. Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart... from someone who didn't even know they existed. Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being A Wall Flower & didn't feel so alone after doing so. Here's to the kids who spend their days in photo booths with their best friends. Here's to the kids who are straight up smart asses & just don't care. Here's to the kids who speak their mind. Here's to the kids who consider screamo their lullaby for going to sleep. Here's to the kids who second-guess themselves on everything they do. Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids who are okay with that. Here's to the kids.
I could conquer the world with one hand as long as you are holding the other one. 
how come the only way to know how high you get me is to see how far I fall? 
nothing's changing now.
my papercut doesn't hurt that much.
you sneak under my skin like the first time we touched. 
you're not out of luck, you just think too much.
are you over your head or just holding your breath ?
why do you think you're such a mess?
 what's teenage love? it's staying up late for each other and barely staying awake in class the next day. it's passing each other between classes and stopping to say something to him but end up running to your next class just before the bell rings. it's going to the mall, wandering around hand in hand with a silence that's comfortable. it's watching a movie with his arm creeping slowly up your shoulder, and your head resting on his arm. it's walking around at night for no reason at all; his chest, your head, looking at the stars. it's uncertainty of how long it will last, a risk you're both willing to take. even if it means you'll have a broken heart. it's not yet true love, not like, not lust or infatuatuation. it's teenage love, here to stay, to play with our hearts and never go away. 
have a problem you're not ready to share? ask a stranger. they see things from a different perspective, and they can never lie. 
If I'm romeo and you're juliet, as long as I'm breathing I love you to death. 
promise me. that's all that I want. just promise that you'll never forget me. tell me that i changed you somehow. let me know that I had an impact on your life. promise me that you'll always remember me. losing you was hard enough, but I don't want to go on knowing I mean absolutely nothing to you. 
true, it may seem like a stretch, but it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away and I am missing you to death. 
all I want to do is be with you. it doesn't have to be forever, because nothing lasts forever. but those smiles mean something, those butterflies say something to me. your voice could save me. 
these cuts are leaving creases. trace the scars, to fit the pieces, to tell your story. you don't need to say a word. 
I wish that I could disappear, unzip my skin and leave it there, so I could be no one again. 
it's like I realized that way down inside, I've always been lonely for something. but I don't know what for. It's like everybody in the world wants something., only they never really know exactly what it is- they just keep finding out what it's not. you know, like when you turn off the tv or you come out of a concert, and everything just feels empty? like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then, it wasn't. 
it's been a long time since I've seen you and longer since we've talked. and the last thing that I said was that I had nothing to say. now I'm choking on my words. all the things that I couldn't say that could have made it all okay.      
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